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A Cynic's Notebook

Hope is the worst of all evils. It prolongs the torments of men.

5 January
External Services:
  • paulada5@yahoo.com
  • paulada5@livejournal.com
  • PaulADA5 AIM status
Welcome, new friend. You have entered the realm of wonderment and surprise which is me. Inside you will read entries about my day, reflections on how I feel and what I am and the occasional essay or short story.

But, you must be warned before entering the labyrinth which is my mind. Many have entered; the few who escaped were left empty shells, clinging to whatever shreds of sanity they managed to retain. Now I will leave you with information about my life. Although, this is only a pin-size portion of who I am truly am.

In this life, my name is Paul. I am 21 years old. Although, I am not really 21. I have lived many lifetimes and thousands of years. And I will go on living thousands more. I do not believe time in measured in years. I believe time is measured in knowledge and life experience. I have much life experience, but I still have a tremendous more amount to learn.

I am currently going to St. Petersburg College. I enjoy it. We were rated one of the five most top colleges two years in a row. Although, I enjoy it, it is a stepping stone. Next year I hope to transfer to New York University, also known as NYU, or Columbia University. If I don't get accepted, no matter what I am leaving St. Petersburg. I do not like it here. New York is the city I embrace. New York is the place where great things happen and great men are made. And I sense greatness in heart, in my blood.

In my life I hope to achieve many things. I will not choose one career. I intend to be a civil rights attorney, entertainment attorney, book agent, acting agent, movie producer, journalist, novelist and psychologist. Yes, I know that is a lot, but I am not into limiting myself to one career forever.

Although, I will have many careers, I will most likely be made famous for my civil rights cases. I will be the led lobbyist in getting same-sex marriage nationally legalize. And if Congress doesn't approve, I will argue the case in front of the highest court in the land: The Supreme Court. And I will win because I will stand good for all that is good in this world. That, my friends, is my dream. No, that is not my dream. Dreams are not enough. That is my future.

But all that is about my future. Lets discuss my current life. In my spare time I enjoy writing short stories and the occasional screenplay. I also adore reading. I have loved books as long as I can remember. I also enjoy music, but my taste range all over the place. Basically I am always doing one of those three things. Reading, writing and music. I suppose I am quite into the arts.

I am, for all intents and purposes, an only child. I love with my mother and my stepfather. My father has never been a part of my life nor do I wish for him to be. Although, his good looks I will appreciate. Now, my mother is an interesting woman. Her father was ambitious and ego-manical. Her mother was cold and controlling. She is her parents' daughter. And I am my mother's son. I incorporate all of their bad qualities. But, I have recently learned that I also inherited all their good traits. I am confident and self-driven like my grandfather. I am crafty and quick-thinking like my grandmother. I am intelligent and helpful like my mother. My family is an odd assortment of people. But, I love them and I would never trade any of them...even though sometimes they make me want to scream and tear at my hair. LOL.

I am currently employed at Regal Park Place Stadium. I work at the concession area. I love my job. I enjoy it very much. And I adore the people I work with.

I am single, painfully so. When it comes to my reationships I always seem to be attracted to people who need my help. I suppose I enjoy being needed. But, that isn't confined to relationships. Many of my older friendships are like that also. I have learned that I am a hopeless romantic. I tend to be kind and sweet and overly loving. Some might say bordering on smothering, but when I have a person I love I would only want them to be happy and I would do anything to see the smile of their face and the twinkle in their eyes.

I am gay. Yes, I am gay and proud and I will never make any apologizes about it. I am quite proud of the fact that I am gay and I would never change that. It is as much a part of me as being male or being black. I am proud of all three and I will defend them to my dying breath.

There are four people on LiveJournal I might mention on my journal often. They know who they are. I would post their names, but I think I should ask them first. These are the people who make me think about who I am and how I feel. I consider them essential to the LiveJournal experience. Each one of them have a different personality. And each one appeals to me differently. Perhaps, you, my new friend, should read their journals. You might be pleasantly surprised what each of them has hidden beneath the surface. They are very complex people.

Well, I have let you into the inner working of my life. If you have any more questions, please do feel free to ask. I am an open book.

Later days.